"Why are you making this? You should be doing (fill in the blank). You're wasting your time."
And
"These aren't your colors, where did you get the idea you could work in this color scheme, it's not you so knock it off."
And
"Get out of the studio and go do something worthwhile, enough of this already."
*yeesh*
Half done
Where to these jibs come from? I was tired, I knew that, I'd worked out in the yard in the heat of the day; but that's no reason to jump ship. I went to bed and decided things would look better in the morning.
I'm still sitting with the critic, she was with me at breakfast so I've been doing other things besides sewing. Is this really about being out of work and still feeling a lot of "shoulds"?
1 comment:
Shame on that meanie for giving you such a bad time! :(
Big changes in employment, whether they are by choice or imposed, good or not so much, always seem to unbalance one's sense of self worth and identity to some extent.
I am at an age where our society deems it ok to be unemployed. But, I took a volunteer position for 5 1/2 years --still work, just not getting paid for it. I began to suspect that I was depending on that job for my sense of wellbeing just about the time the personnel dynamic and goals became unacceptable to me. Rather than make a fuss, I resigned. Even with the volunteer aspect of that work, I am dealing with inner doubts, questions, motivation, etc. 6months later.
I told my story to suggest that you might need to to give yourself a little more adjustment time. It's also a good time for re-visiting questions relating to self identity, purpose, goals, etc. etc. I've been asking a lot of questions, asking a lot of why's and why not's. I don't have all the answers yet. But that's ok, too. Best wishes on your journey.
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